Excuse Me, Your Teeth Are Showing

I slept in today. I am fully rested which means I probably won't be too deep. I very rarely know what I am going to post about until I sit down and start typing. I do not contemplate for a whole day about what to tell my fellow bloggers.

Last night my sister and I went to see the movie Sahara. Matthew McConaughey had his shirt on way too often. He was very, very good looking. But something about him other than his body distracted me throughout the movie. His teeth! They were so gleaming white they reminded me of that Friend's episode when Ross had his teeth bleached and they were so bright they glowed in the dark. Matt's teeth were so white they were distracting. They didn't fit in with everything. They were like their own persona. It bugged me. (Obviously.)

I woke up early today. I am not sure why. I didn't have to and I am so tired that I doubt this qualifies as being awake. Then I figured that if I were you and I came to visit my blog and saw the same thing from yesterday, I would not be happy or inspired to discuss yesterday's topics. I mean, yesterday was an awesome Thursday, but today is Friday. There is no comparison.

Last night, as I was falling asleep I was thinking about how every person you will ever know will disappoint you. People will make bad decisions. They can be so stupid. They can get so involved in themselves they don't have anything left over. People will hurt your feelings, not meet your expectations or disappoint you. At times, a person will not be thoughtful. Over and over again, each person we know does something that we won't like. Over and over again, we make bad friends or keep old baggage around. Over and over again, we will continue to make new friends or lovers. No matter how long they are around, something will happen not to your liking.

Yet we will always allow opportunity in our life and we don't want to shut down everything because of past experiences. Sometimes we take a step away from entertaining certain relationships to develop in our life for a while but eventually, time heals wounds and we will be ready to try again. Often times we try again only to come up short again.

Some people we keep in our lives because the good out weighs the disappointments. But there is always some shortcoming each person brings into our lives. Each shortcoming makes us have to learn and to stretch and to become even better, more flexible, tolerant and loving individuals. Because taken as a whole, it is a wonder any of us talk to any others. But individually, it is others that help us to grow, to learn and to enjoy life to a fuller extent.

Could we know the heights of joy if we didn't know the depth of pain? I think so. I think sometimes we use the cop out that we have to know pain just to make it more justifiable. In the long run, we can know joy and be relieved that the pain is behind us. But pain will come again with a different face at some point in life. And it will temporarily make any joy in life less full. But once we move on, the joy rebounds to the fullness it once was and we are glad for it. Sometimes we even learn to recapture the joy more quickly in life than we had before because we are no longer willing to wallow in pain. We are ready to dump the baggage and cut out those who do not weigh out the disappointments. We are ready to focus on the joy we have and the goodness we hold and appreciate the people around us and the circumstances around us that exude joy.

No Goodbyes

I don't think I should tell you any more of my store of stories that I like to tell from my life because if I ever meet in you in real life, what will I have left to say? I often times can't even think of what to tell you on a regular basis in my blog as it is. I suppose those stories would be a good crutch to use when I can't think of anything else to say.

This whole moving thing put an interesting spin on my life. I thought for sure I was out of this community and I had to reassess my life. I found myself regretting not spending more time on some areas of life and too much time in other areas. It was a good wake-up call. It is kind of like a second chance in the middle of everything.

I still think the decision to not hire J and I was the wrong one but I am personally relieved that they didn't hire us because we would have gone. And now I can clean house, literally and figuratively. I can trim off the areas that I regretted having in the first place. And I can concentrate more on what I haven't been doing that I want to do.

And I might throw a party with everyone I love from the community just for the heck of it instead of a farewell party. Party at Amber Lynn's house!

A Walk Down Memory Lane's Darker Side

Martinilove wrote a post on a story that is one of those stories that she loves to tell. Everyone has those stories. I have a whole collection of life experiences that at the time were usually painful or embarrassing but now help me to relate to people. I just used the story I am about to tell on Friday night when J and I were at the BBQ where I was on display. (Maybe this is why we didn’t get the job?)

I will never play softball again. Ever. The last time I played softball was in 7th grade PE. We had coed PE. I was up to bat. I was not very athletic growing up due to the fact that I had to grow to be 6’ tall in a short amount of time. I never knew where my arms and legs stopped. Arms and legs are important in sports so I was not very good at them.

The guy standing on 2nd base was very good at sports. He was good at all sports and so everyone loved him. Half the girls in 7th grade had a crush on him. I very honestly wasn’t one of them and if I were ever meant to have a crush on him, what happens next would cure me of that forever.

I was up to bat and I actually hit the ball which surprised me. So I dropped the bat and ran to first. Apparently I hit the bar rather far or the outfield had an error. At any rate, everyone was yelling at me to run. So I took off for 2nd base. I was pelting towards the 2nd baseman when I saw that the ball was being thrown to him. The person throwing the ball had tossed it high so the 2nd baseman was going to have to jump up to catch it. I thought I would be slick and slide in under him so I wouldn't be out.

I went into my slide and collided with his feet which had left the ground in order to catch the ball. I knocked his feet out from under him so he landed on his back and when my slide had come to a halt, my face was in his crotch.

And I was out.

I got back to the dugout and all my 7th grade girlfriends wanted to know how it smelled.

Summation

Las Vegas was just what I needed! I did not get hit on by any of the women attending the obese lesbians who look like men conference, so I was safe. In fact, the whole visit was remarkably normal. I did not get groped, spit on, in a fight or have any bad conversations with abnormaly strange people. I get more weirdos in my little town than I personally encountered in Las Vegas. Granted, no one knows how to dress there and the overwhelming amount of mangina going on was just bizarre, but I get more interesting story fodder in my everyday life.

Which is why Vegas was just what I needed. After the craziness of the past 3 weeks or so, I was ready to get away and think about something else. And as I was pulling into my parent's town, J called to say we don't have to move. I have not been so pleased in a very, very long time. I am so happy it is scary!

There is a net at the bottom! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight Tonight

We saw more of Vegas tonight. It is truly an adult's Disney Land. I cannot believe how intricate the smallest things in some of these casinos are. Being that my sister and I aren't much for night clubs, we wandered around for the most part and just looked at people and drank some more.

I think this week is the obese lesbian convention. It has been pretty disgusting. After about 11 most of the nasty women are no where to be seen and some more normal looking people are out and about. We got back to our room about 1 am and the crowd was pretty thin out in the streets. I think Vegas is probably much more exciting during the weekends or something. It has been fun none the less!

Waiting for one of the trams. 


Paris Paris and the moon. 


Beware the purple dragon! 


Umm... 


The Venetian 

Las Vegas in Pictures

We haven't gambled any money because I am too cheap to spend money on absolutely nothing except for some beeping noises. I would rather get cheesy over-priced cups.

Plenty of pictures from this afternoon. We spent most of the time in Ceasar's Palace. 


Hello! 


On the walk over the strip 


These scupltures are very intricate. 


More of the mall at Ceasar 


The fountian. We can't see much of it, but it is gi-normous. 


Gucci retro-style! 

Las Vegas

We've had so much fun it's almost out of control.

Last night I had a run of the mill Las Vegas night. We over paid for some alcohol because it was served in cool glasses. We got a happy, very silly drunkeness going on. We looked at all the pretty lights and made fun of a majority of the people walking around. (I did not know that all fashion sense went out the window due to the Vegas experience.) We ate really good sushi down in Bally's basement area. Oh! It was so yummy.

We only talked to a few strangers and mostly about random things. One girl came up to comment on my shirt. I am pretty sure she was more than a litte blitzed. I felt a bit awkward. One guy had the back of his neck piereced with the two rods. It was really original and cool looking.

We walked in circles through a shopping center and into the Aladdin. That was fun!

But for the most part, we just wandered through the people a little buzzed and looked at all the pretty lights.

More at the Bellagio Gardens. 

Countdown to Vegas- In the Meantime, More Interviews

T Minus 24 Hours Until Las Vegas!


Which is pretty stinkin' cool and I couldn't have planned the timing any better even though I will be missing a day of planned activities to "meet the board and other concerned citizens". My husband will be left alone to deal with everyone and make observations because his crazy wife (and sister-in-law) will be off to Las Vegas.

Last night we went to a BBQ. We didn't leave until 11:45. We met countless parents with questions. I actually had a nice, relaxing time. (One guy kind of intimidated me because I felt like a subject of the Spanish Inquisition, but other than that, things went well.) J ate strawberrys so his stomach wouldn't spazz out on him. (He is ultra skinny for a reason.) I had a salad and a cheeseburger. Not on my diet, I know. At least it was homemade and not a hamburger that was cooked in lard. I resisted the chips.

I ate a chip. Well, I had five probably. But that was all. I swear.

Everyone is a kalidescope of people in my mind now. They are all impressions and snapshots here and there that form the whole picture. The girls we are going to be working with are none too friendly and warm. They guys are guys. They wanted to just play basketball. The parents are concerned that someone will come in and leave in another year or two as usual. They are tired of having their kids jerked around. I don't blame them.

So that is the last boring post for you peeps. Tomorrow night or Monday will be Las Vegas.

I'm out!

Closet

WARNING: THIS POST IS MOSTLY POINTLESS. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR MEANING AND SUBSTANCE, YOU WILL FEEL DISAPPOINTED AND EMPTY AFTER READING THIS!!

Thanks to those who read my rant. See, I can go off with the rest of them. I feel like I was able to pinpoint what I was feeling so uptight about in this move. It's not just a career move (and even that is a big decision), but a move that is tied to so many levels that it seems there is no way it could come of right and smoothly. J and I still have not made a final decision, but I will keep you peeps posted, okay?

I woke up early this morning (say 5 am!). I had a dream, I know exactly what it was about and what it meant. It meant I still was not at ease with the job decision and I walked over to my laptop to check on you peeps and there was a sticky note from J. He went to bed after I did last night. The note made me feel loads better! Funny how time appropriate some things in life end up being.

Anywho- it's Friday and that means a lot to you people, so I thought you would be happy to know that yesterday I decided to finally hang up all of my laundry. I have a walk in closet. The pole I hang my clothes on is about 7' long. Well, guess what? I no longer have enough room for all of my clothes. In fact, there is quite a large pile waiting to be distributed properly and about another load and a half of unwashed stuff, too.

The visual aid of the day:

Those awaiting their proper home.** 


The closet. (I never wear that blue shirt with the flowers. Maybe I could get rid of that?) 


I should point out that I never make my bed unless company is coming over. I used to until J started getting up later than me and he would always "forget". So now I wake up later and I am so used to having the bed not made, it doesn't matter anymore. (See how well trained I am?)

Secondly, I have decided that it is time for a new house with more room for my clothes. My needs have outgrown the size of the pole. (Yes, the closets in the other 2 bedrooms are full as well.) J agrees as the garage is too small for all of his stuff as well.

Happy Friday! (Sunday I leave for Las Vegas!)

**Maybe I should start an "Adopt a Shirt" foundation or something. The problem is I don't want to get rid of anything. I like all my clothes. Even the blue shirt with the flowers I don't wear very often.

Not All of Life Should Be a Stage

This post is about my experience with church. If you don’t want to read about church, hit the Next Blog button because I don’t give a fudge nut. That’s right. You heard me. Fudge nut.

No one wants to listen to my woes so I am going to write them down in blogger. Take that! You have to read what no one else wants to discuss with me right now. Except J. He always listens and understands. I love him! Plus he was in the same boat as I was.

I told him one day, “You can keep going to church but I’m done. I’m not going back.”

It seemed a miserable waste of time to throw a whole Sunday out the window due to tradition and guilt. I had thrown enough of them out and had gotten nothing in return except people telling me how I should act. It was either a social club or a place people went out of repetitiveness and wouldn’t stop going to because they wouldn’t know what to do without it. It was like a building full of OCD people. They just couldn’t break the cycle without spazzing out. So the cycle continued.

I got off the merry-go-round. I started sleeping in on Sundays and doing yard work. I would clean my house and do laundry. I had enough of church and I didn’t feel guilty. I didn’t feel remorse. I had even given it the ol’ “college try” and attended a whole smattering of church but I always walked away feeling that it was a ritual without much behind it.

The leadership in the churches I was at would sit in the foyer and talk while the pastor was preaching. They wouldn’t say hi unless I had my husband at my side. It was all rite and ritual and I was not getting anything else from any other of the 20 places I visited.

I figured God had moved on. Church was meaningless. The people who went were concerned merely with appearances and nothing else. If I was in bed while they were at church, they couldn’t judge my appearance.

I felt liberated. Home Depot and Jack in the Box became my Sunday ritual. I was happy. I wouldn’t even go to church on Christmas or Easter. I would go when I went home, but more of a family function than for church.

I shall skip a few years and then fast forward a few months. I ended up at a Sunday service. The pastor spoke about church being a safe place where it didn’t matter who we were before we walked through the doors. We were all the same inside. I felt like he was talking directly to me. I bawled. Seriously, I cried so much. I am not a person given to crying often. (Remember, I’m tough!)

So at this point I felt like maybe something was different in that building than the others. I was curious. So I would occasionally go back and check things out there. And it was a bit weird to me because people there would have their hands in the air while everyone was singing. That is so not allowed in church! People seemed to cry a lot. You should not cry in church unless you stub your toe or something. It is distracting! What is up with this crazy bunch of people? And why are so many of them wearing jeans? It’s okay if a few people wear jeans, but not this many.

I was out of my element. I was out of my comfort zone. I was way beyond what I knew church felt like. But there was this part that seemed to be literally ALIVE there. So I kept coming and at one point with more regularity.

I started to learn that this wasn’t about playing church. It wasn’t about saying the right thing or even doing the right thing. It wasn’t about smokers, drinkers, hookers, rich people, poor people, perverts, white hairs, black hairs, or anything. It was about really finding a relationship with God. It was truly about having a heart that could feel and understand God for the first time ever. They didn’t want me to follow a rule book. They could care less how I went about things. It wasn’t about saying fudge nut or fuck for that matter.

It was about letting God really take a hold of my life and change it.

And there is a huge difference between letting a church change you from the outside in or them letting God change you from the inside out. And that is what I have learned. When a church tries to force change so that they don’t have to deal with someone’s issues or ugliness, they play God. And people can figure out how to act and look so they aren’t offensive. And they can be as ugly as sin on the inside still and function in a church their whole life. How else does a church end up with child molesters? They push a “face” onto a person and the person wears that face but hides what’s underneath.

And this is my problem now. I have finally gotten to a place where there is no one looking over my shoulder and evaluating my relationship with God based on my actions, words or deeds. There is no one measuring up my effectiveness in my work with the teens based on what I look like. And I am terrified of going back to a building where people gather every Sunday to pay compliments to each other, slap “faces” over what’s really underneath and play church.

I am good at playing church and I never, ever want to do it again.

Ready? Set? Go!

It's coming just over the horizon. I can smell it in the air. The electricity is palapable. There is something stirring over the horizon and it is coming to over take me very, very quickly.

I was told about this coming. I have my umbrella, golashes, and rain coat. I hope it is enough. I don't know.

That's how I feel right now. J called me. We are going to meet with the board in the next two days. When we set out to check out this career change, the decision maker told us that if we go to the board, he has pretty much made up his mind and just wants to be sure that J and I get along with the board okay.

It's coming. I knew it the first time my dad even mentioned it in passing. I couldn't sleep that whole night. Something told me this was more serious than a passing comment. The ball had started rolling and I knew it would stop exactly where it is stopping. It was almost inevitable.

There are some things I am scared of. I have been in a comfort zone with people that have grown me into what I am today. Those people understand me. They understand my goosebumps, they read my face. I am used to people not feeling the need to tell me what to do and how to do it. They are confident enough in my desire to do the right thing that they don't look over my shoulder. They understand my feet are made of clay. They understand that God is big enough to take care of whatever business he needs to in my life because I am listening.

The people I am moving towards don't know any of this. I feel like I am going to be misunderstood at every turn in the road. I see a lot of battles taking place in which J and I are going to have to stand our ground and ride the waves. I feel barely prepared. And yet I know that I am ready because of what I am holding onto. It's what I have been prepared for. I guess I'm ready!

My Geographic Handicap

I was contemplating why people like to hate Americans. I am glad I am an American. I would probably be quite content as a Canadian, Mexican, Spainard or Austrailian. So why hate me because of my geographic location?

I guess many people think that Americans are obnoxious. I am obnoxious even to Americans, so strike one for me. I wonder if it is because so many Americans have a strong streak of sarcasm. Is this an American thing to say one thing when you mean completely the opposite and everyone one knows that you do except for the foreigner in the room?

Are they mad because I have a laptop computer, I work about 15 hours a week, I own a house on a nice size piece of land and can go clothes shopping? Are they upset with Americans because we have Apple Jacks cereal and they don't? Or is it that we get to see all the movies and hear all the CDs first?

Or is it because after WWII our country decided it couldn't ever let situations get that far out of control ever again so now we play the world's baby sitters and go break up fights everytime one starts up? I don't even like that. Those our my friends, brothers, sisters, cousins and loved ones. That is the blood of America. That is the heart of America.

Are they upset because people can't drink until they are 21 and drugs and prostitution are illegal? Is it the fact that we rank so low in education? What? What is so wrong with us? I don't get it.

I'm Not Changing My Name

Warning! Warning! We have been infiltrated. Use escape hatches now. Automatic destruction in 10..9...

Nevermind. It’s not that serious

What are two things people know about me from reading my blog?
1. I am passionate about God. (Hello!! Confessions of a Christian)
2. I am happily married. (We had a whole series on that one.)

The whole aim of starting this blog was so that people could know what an everyday Christian thinks about and goes through. I do not censor myself here at all. And if the worst someone can find about me is that I say inappropriate things sometimes, then fine. In my real life, there are plenty of things that I do that I would not want those that I mentor to do. I would not want teens to be drinking alcohol. I drink happily. I would not want them watching some of the movies I own. (No, not those kinds. Sheesh people!) I occasionally swear. I used acronyms where the obvious word is the F-bomb. That is how I say that word even in real life F-bomb.

I am uncensored here. Is it appropriate for those that I mentor to read this? No. Would I care if they did? Yes. Not because I feel it discredits me. I feel that I am honest in all aspects of life. But this isn’t geared towards them. This is geared towards my readers who by and large have no clue what an everyday Christian is like. I am probably 90% just like you. I have gotten comments from some people telling me that they realize I am different. Sure I am not perfect. But that’s kind of what I wanted you to realize.

I Woke Up Today...That's Good, Right?

I have managed to get a few things done today. One of them was work related.

I am going to use my blog for the betterment of mankind. (Or at least my sister.) Your advice is needed, your voice counts.

Go over there and dispense advice freely.

Please. Thank you!

The Briefcase Syndrome

I couldn’t tell you the exact moment it happened. It was sometime when I was still working for Old Senile Boss Man. I think frustration gave way to apathy. And I have not had the desire to work or create in close to six months. I have not felt the exciting energy I used to have about the idea of business in at least that long.

I am usually a schemer who spends hours upon hours plotting and planning with the aid of my DayTimer. I had a schedule. I had checklists and assistants.

And now I blog more than I give time to work.

I have not felt the stir of excitement over being a professional in a long time. It is a chore, a necessity to pay the bills. Even switching companies did not help the way I had imagined it would. I don’t have be worried about getting sued due to Old Senile Boss Man, but there was still no excitement over the newness of a situation. Sure, I wanted to give a good impression but that lasted for about two weeks. Then more things unraveled in my professional life and other things started kicking in my personal life and I have blogged some more.

Tonight I was reading a book and as my eyes glanced over the word “briefcase”, my heart skipped a beat. I envisioned myself carrying a briefcase full of files and organized things. I imagined getting back to the system and vitality that business brings to me. I saw a whole new world opened up. I imagined taking the old systems are re-implementing them. I thought of being zealous and motivated for clients and really being a stellar professional.

I don’t know if the excitement will wear off by the time I wake up tomorrow. I know I am probably moving and I am going to have to restart my whole career over in a community that is a 45 minute drive from where I live now. I will have to have some drive and stamina if I’m going to make it. Hopefully the idea of files, organization and systems will have appeal to me when I restart life in a month.

Funny how reading one dumb word leaves me wanting more from life.

What Happens in Vegas Goes On Blogger.com

I got nothing. This post sucked. I deleted it. I need some excitement in my life. Mondays and Tuesdays pale in comparison to this past weekend. Even Sunday was busy. Now I got nothing.

Meeting Margaritalove

I am still tired. I am a sorry excuse for a 20-something year old. I want to tell you the story of meeting Martinilove but in my brain dead state, I am not sure I will do it justice.

My sister and I had chips and salsa and talked to Falsetto. We waited for about 15 minutes. At one point, these two middle aged women walked in and Annalisa got a bit nervous. "How old did you say they were?" That's not them, Annalisa. They are our age.

Martinilove & Jynn walked up to our table. It's a bit weird to see a blogland person in 3D for the first 30 seconds or so. The next four hours of our lunch flew by. It is like seeing an old friend you haven't talked to in a while. We would describe things about people around us in correlation to blogland people. "Oh that guy has Jake hair." We talked about other bloggers. We decided we shall all take a road trip to Washington. We want to see if Pete wears donut scented cologne and go to the bars with them and see the ring of fat girls in horizontal stripes bump him around like a scene from Saturday Night Live Roxbury skit. (Thanks for the SNL correlation, Annalisa.)

We decided that someday we should all go to Vegas together. (Gawd that would be a fickin' fun time.)

At one point I laughed while taking a bite of food and a piece of food shot out of my mouth and onto my plate. Ooops! I think I just must have bad table manners. But it was hard not to laugh with the foursome combination we had.

I would highly recommend meeting other bloggers if you have mojo in blogland because they are like instant best friends in real life. So now I have a good friend with perfect nay-nays. They actually both had perfect nay-nays. (Yes, a lethal combination.)

Oh, I need to confirm that Martinilove is NOT black.

Pics for Kicks

I just can't keep these to myself. You might not care, but if there is a soul out there who does, this is just fickin' cool. I am still brain dead from last night but when I am able to function again, I will be blogging about meeting Martinilove today. (We renamed her Margaritalove for a few hours. It was a four hour lunch.)

The stage 

The stage background was raised and lowered. It was like six sheets of individual light bulbs that were netted together. The technology for the visual was cool. Each light would light up at certain times in certain colors and form the background.

 

The above picture shows that Bono's hair gets sweaty during the show. Hahaha. (Don't know why that if funny. I am fickin' tired, okay?


 

The band and Bono wearing his gay hat. (He looks like he is part of the YMCA gang.)

A few more pics from last night

Get all the highlights and more pics from the post below.

A few more pics from last night for your viewing pleasure, beotches! (Just kidding. I love you!) 


Last one for now. (Gawd did I have fun!!) 

U2

If you don't want to read about the concert, skip to the end of the post. There are pictures for you!

It's 3 o'clock in the morning. I just got home. My ears are ringing and my feet are killing me.

We had floor tickets. We were about 6' away from Bono. (Pictures to follow.)

And my day was marked by memorable characters.

Let's skip the shopping where I bought halter tops and shoes and go to the drive to the venue. Driving down the freeway with sis in rush hour traffic, and I am entertaining myself. We are listening to U2, of course. I am singing into my water bottle, getting my groove on. Really, I am just going for gusto.

And this guy drives by and waves, slows down and then waves some more. I wave back. I am polite. This is the last we see of this guy. (Just so you're not wondering what happened to waver guy.)

We get to the venue, and have to wait in line. We are behind these two guys that flew in from Guatelejara, Mexico to see the concert. They are funny and quirky and have nice accents. There were lots and lots of females so completely inappropriately dressed, it was pathetic. One girl was sitting on the sidewalk, eating some fast food with her huge rear end hanging out of her pants. I have seen more modesty from every plumber I have ever met. (Two foot of butt crack was all I could see.)

Then there were also the proliferation of 40 something women wearing see through shirts or shirts that weren't long enough to cover their guts that were hanging out. Weird. Oh. And lots of guys in really loud, obnoxious shirts.

The line starts moving and we stake our claim on our spot for the night. My sister strikes up a conversation with the people behind us and plays Uno with them standing up. In the circle is Gabe. I gave him my blog site. I really don't know how it came up. But it did. His real name is like Emeril but not. He reminded me and sis of her favorite cousin. He was funny and entertained us until the show started. Then he molested me through the rest of the show. He used the guise of being squished to constantly touch my back (bare because of the halter), butt and hair. Now if he comes to visit my blog, he may deny such going ons and blame it on the crowd. I hope he fesses up to copping a feel because I know that was what was going on. (Just tell it like it is, I ain't mad at ya!) You know how cautious I am about even flirting with my blog-boys. So having someone grind up on me was a bit weird, but my personal space was VERY invaded at the concert. But Bono was 5'-6' away so it was worth it.

Then the concert is over. I promise to email Gabe the pics from the evening. And I will! Sis and I head out of the venue and this other guy leans over and sticks out his hand. "Hi. I'm so and so. Nice to meet you." So I shake the dude's hand. He is missing his two front teeth but I am nice, so I shake his hand. He says to me, "Do you like dick? I like dick." I turn away from him and don't say a word. I could tell that he was totally blitzed out of his mind on some sort of drug. But my sister starts to YELL at him. Tells him he is a jerk and needs to learn respect and on and on. I am hoping Slim Shady's toothless tweaker cousin doesn't start getting violent or whatever but he just keeps telling his friend very loudy, "I'm a jerk. Who knew? I'm a jerk." At least he got the message apparently. We rode the elevator instead of taking the stairs to avoid said jerk.

I am missing a whole bunch of people. There were others. It was fun. I had a great time and I am wiped out completely. I'll upload a few pics and then night night time for this girl!

This is how close we were!  


Here's the love of my sister's life 



On the way home. (Traffic was horrible at 1 am. We were bored. We took pics.) 


(I know I'm not supposed to post pics of myself cuz I look better in your head than in real life, but oh well. )

Where's Amber?

Tomorrow I will not be posting. I am headed to P-town beotches. I am going to see U2 in concert with Annalisa. We have floor tickets and she is the BIGGEST fickin’ U2 fan ever. She is hoping to get inside the “circle” thing. It’s like the inner stage. I am taking my camera but I doubt I will really get any good shots. I’ll post a good pic if I get one.

We are going to the mall to do some shopping. If the Mills wasn’t so far, I’d probably go check out that hot bartender. (Mostly for my sister of course, I am happily married to hotness.)

I am going to get a few halter tops for Las Vegas next weekend. I have a 20% off coupon for Lerners. Very exciting!

So if you begin to wonder where I have disappeared to, I am out and about without my laptop. Hopefully the world will continue to spin.

For your reading pleasure, please enjoy the following from an email I recieved today:

10 TRUTHS BLACK AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 TRUTHS BLACK AND WHITE PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. Jump out and run is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

EDIT: Today is the best Friday ever so far (for being awake for 16 minutes or so). I am blog of the day at Denny's. (Not the restaurant, the guy on the side bar under Blogs I Read Often.) Also, Jake re-posted his pic. He is my muse, dahling. If you appreciated me posting my pic, I did it because Jake did. (I'm a total follower.)

Things I have learned from dieting

Controlling my eating habits was only hard for about the first week. I would dream about a Wendy’s double double and have a pickle. I would crave sweets and have a pickle. Pickles were my crutch for the first month. Now I don’t usually have cravings. Well, this week was tough because I don’t deal well with emotions and it has been an emotionally stressful week so I wanted comfort food. I had a bowl of cereal which isn’t on my diet, but much better than the double cookie dough Blizzard I was going to get.

Anyway, so half way through this thing all of my pants, including my professional work ones are hanging way below my underwear line so I am forced to wear all of my long shirts. The one thing I think is hardly fair is that my boobs lost quite a bit of weight, too. What’s that all about? It’s like being punished for losing weight. (I don’t have voluptuous boobs, sorry guys.) I didn’t lose a whole cup size or anything, but I think I might have to go buy a half size bra now. Not fair. I was always against getting boob jobs, but if I’m hot and skinny and not really filling up a shirt, that’s just not fair.

The other thing that sucks is that I have a naturally perky butt. It has diminished somewhat, but it is still round and plump as ever. I have like a dancer butt or something and I don’t really do anything to bulk it up. So the jeans that are in my closet waiting to be worn are gaping around my waist by about 4” already but too tight for my comfort around my derriere. Yes, this is my curse. Tiny top, round butt. I hate it! Hate it!! Not fair.

Although, (this is wrong) I know a girl who is way big on bottom and small on top like a complete pear. I don’t think I’m that bad. (No, I will not post a pic.) But still, If I am going to be curvy on the bottom, doesn’t it only harmonize and balance the world if I am curvy on top, too?

Man, I can’t wait to strut my stuff in a bikini in June. I will be so proud of myself. I’m gonna start endorsing pickles for free!

Amber Alert

I am calm. Serene. I am actually at peace.

I have tried not to spew my woes all over the place over the past week. I did not want my burden to become a heavy thing in blogland for everyone else. There are enough pity parties in blogland without mine being added to the mix. Plus, the last thing I need is a "poor baby" and people supporting me in my misery. Misery loves company, right? So if I have company then I will love the misery. (That actually isn't logical at all.) If I get started acting out of my emotions, it wouldn't stop and they would just spiral and take over. That's not gonna happen.

At any rate, I am finally feeling free in what is going on so I can share! I am 90% sure J and I are going to be moving. We have been talking with the place that might want us to go run their youth program and help it grow. Today the staff came over to our town and they sat down with Jeremy and the staff we work with now. Everyone is feeling good about what's happening. The people I have trusted for the past three years feel good about what is happening. They have really helped mold me into this sweet person you all think I am and the person you love. How they took what I was 3 years ago and helped make it into the person I am now I don't really know. They were steady and faithful in their relationship with us. They were genuinely interested in who we are as people and they really wanted to see us succeed.

So, being that I trust their insight and wisdom, and they were impressed with what they saw today, I am comfortable.

Plus I had a big cry-fest with God this morning and I had settled in myself that things were gonna be okay.

So now I am moving past fear, doubt and uncertainty into a calmness and steadiness and getting excited about what is going to happen in the near future.

And that is the Amber update for those who actually care!

To: You - From: Me

Let's have another, "instead of making this post all about me, let's talk about you" day.

I thought you would like to know about these spiffy sites related to making your blogging experience that much better.

The first one is called Technocrati.

Click here to visit.

In the top center is a box where you type in your blog url and hit the search key. It will show you who is linking to you in the world wide web.

BlogPulse allows you to search blogs by keywords. Sex, this might be a new tool for blog surfing for you. It's not limited to only blogger.

Of course, you know that you can sign up for a free sitemeter. This is a great tool because you can see how many people are coming through your site, even if they aren't leaving messages.

And lastly, the tool we all know and love is HaloScan. It is beautiful for several different reasons, but mostly because their server is down less often than blogger's comment service.

Everything here is free. Have a great time out there people!

Could That Be Any More Embarassing?

Annalisa and I went to have a little celebratory lunch. I have been working with the biggest pain in the butt clients for almost a year. I got paid for my work today.

When we walked in, this waiter started giving my sister (Annalisa) a bunch of crap. We were seated and I asked her what was up with that guy. She has known him since Jr. High.

Oh.

So after we are eating our food (and I am having my "woohoo" margarita), this guy comes up. Annalisa introduces me to The Guy She Has Known Since Jr High. He starts giving her a hard time, so I chime in. He wants to know how long I have lived in Sedona. I said, "Exactly the same amount of time as Annalisa. She's my sister." So he asks some more questions and I ask him what his last name is. (It's a small town, I figured I might know one of his relatives.) His last name is Falsetto. So I said (are you ready for this moment of brillance?), "So can you sing in falsetto?"

It sounded kinda good in my head. Why did I say this? I thought of Bran. She would understand. I blurted out the first thing that popped into this warped brain of mine and it didn't pass any checkpoints for coolness.

I felt really, really dumb. So I told the guy, "Sorry. I'm cheesy. I can't help it." And of course, being embarassed, I couldn't shut up. So I continued to babble about how my sister isn't cheesy and it doesn't run in the family or anything. I have blocked out anything else I might have said after that point. I just know I had to be scarlet and I wasn't looking at him anymore.

He left. (I am sure he was totally head over heels in love with me at this point.) Annalisa then informs me that the whole time I was babbling on....I had lots of food in my teeth. A black thing from the black beans and a piece of lettuce. So the whole time I am grinning because I feel like an idiot, I am making a bigger ass of myself.

I clean my teeth and she asks if she should call him over so I can talk to him without food in my teeth. "How about never? Is it okay to see him never again?"

And we can't stop laughing at me. I told her to pay and I would jump off the balcony to the car so I don't have to see him as we leave.

But at least I was having a good time at my own expense.

Then Annalisa keeps commenting, "That lady looks familiar to me."

I didn't look the first two times she said it. Then the third time, I turn around to see who she is looking at with such interest and contemplation.

"Annalisa, she was our waitress last time we came here. That's why she looks familiar."

More laughter. We are both on a roll of being complete jackasses now. We figure we should leave while the getting is good. Our waitress brings Annalisa a to go box and I pay for the check. (It was my celebration, my treat.) We get up to leave and are halfway across the restaurant when the waitress yells very loudly to Annalisa:

"Ma'am! Your box!!!"

Now, this might sound completely harmless, but her intonation at the end of box sounded like she was going to continue speaking but just stopped. Our minds jumped to the first thing we think of when we hear the word "box".

I doubled over from laughter. She busted up. I am sure we were the only two people in the restaurants with minds that much in the gutter (because everyone in the place heard the waitress yell that). Annalisa turned around and retrieved her box that she had left.

The whole way back to the office, we were cracking jokes about leaving boxes, stuffing boxes and having sloppy 2nd boxes.

I think my pain of the last year with my clients has been more than made up for.

Stupidity and Bravery Are Sometimes Confused

I'm over it. I thought way too long and I will continue to debate with myself until I do it. So fine! I win! I'm doing it. I'm posting my pic. This is from the other night at my dad's birthday dinner. (If I take this down in an hour because I chickened out, oh well.)





It's really me.

One less thing in life for me to obsess about.

Pointless

I was going to post about my bowel movements, but that's just not right. I am clearing out the room I use as an office at home today because AJ will be staying with us starting in about a week or so. I have some down time (okay, I always have down time), and thought I would be constructive with it. Murphy's Law states that you can have jack to do for a month, but the day you need to be able to get something done, you're gonna be busy. I try to circumvent Murphy as often as possible.

So I was putting my knicknacks back on the shelf. I figured out I am like a grandma. I already have to have a knicknack shelf. It is mostly small gifts people have given me that I don't know quite what to do with and travel mementos.

Since we are all such a digital, visual, stimulated bunch of people, I thought a pic would help this post out nicely.




My collection of crap.