A Walk Down Memory Lane's Darker Side

Martinilove wrote a post on a story that is one of those stories that she loves to tell. Everyone has those stories. I have a whole collection of life experiences that at the time were usually painful or embarrassing but now help me to relate to people. I just used the story I am about to tell on Friday night when J and I were at the BBQ where I was on display. (Maybe this is why we didn’t get the job?)

I will never play softball again. Ever. The last time I played softball was in 7th grade PE. We had coed PE. I was up to bat. I was not very athletic growing up due to the fact that I had to grow to be 6’ tall in a short amount of time. I never knew where my arms and legs stopped. Arms and legs are important in sports so I was not very good at them.

The guy standing on 2nd base was very good at sports. He was good at all sports and so everyone loved him. Half the girls in 7th grade had a crush on him. I very honestly wasn’t one of them and if I were ever meant to have a crush on him, what happens next would cure me of that forever.

I was up to bat and I actually hit the ball which surprised me. So I dropped the bat and ran to first. Apparently I hit the bar rather far or the outfield had an error. At any rate, everyone was yelling at me to run. So I took off for 2nd base. I was pelting towards the 2nd baseman when I saw that the ball was being thrown to him. The person throwing the ball had tossed it high so the 2nd baseman was going to have to jump up to catch it. I thought I would be slick and slide in under him so I wouldn't be out.

I went into my slide and collided with his feet which had left the ground in order to catch the ball. I knocked his feet out from under him so he landed on his back and when my slide had come to a halt, my face was in his crotch.

And I was out.

I got back to the dugout and all my 7th grade girlfriends wanted to know how it smelled.