That's why it's called a shortcut. If it were easy, it would just be "the way".

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Seven Year Blog Itch

Since childhood I have had a sense of things to come, a harbinger in my soul. It's intuition that often plays off as empathy although my antenna for someone's mental state is usually assessed quickly. As a child, this made me highly manipulative with usual success at gaining my goals. As a teenager, I tried to fix all the broken people and ended up broken myself. It's as if I have an invisible tether to something I cannot quite explain and I have had it from my earliest memories. An awareness that things are connected, that things are not what they seem, and that sometimes things are not to be done with logic as much as with that gut feeling. This last week, I stopped in the shop to see Jeremy and Pastor Randy was there. He was bouncing ideas around for this passage in Ephesians that's talks about how Christians main struggle is not with tangible things, people and ideals but rather something much bigger, the spiritual realm. I was sort of surprised to hear a Baptist dude talking and openly giving credence to all that goes on in life that's just not visible to us. I mean, it's clearly in the Bible but it can be a tricky thing so sometimes people like to brush the tough or weird stuff under the rug. For me, not only is my struggle with things unseen, maybe like jealousy or fear that gives to panic, laziness, bitchiness (I know that's not in the Bible but I certainly suffer from it somedays) but it seems deeper that I am like a weather vane and something grabs me and I can know things more than if I had facts and experience that got me there. This is getting more personal and weird so if you're still reading, either it's like watching a train wreck or there's something here you identify with. I'll plunge on further. Growing up I thought I had ESP. I knew things with clarity and conviction before they happened. Being raised in a conservative church, ESP was of the Devil and I didn't want to be tainted so I pretty much ignored this part of myself. I have some really weird stories I could tell you over coffee or a beer sometimes but let's say that even though I ignored my connection to the unseen it didn't always ignore me. Then fast-forward to about late 20s when I stumbled into a charismatic church. Man did I love that church! God was so alive. So real! So refreshing. Things in the Bible were not old stories. God is living and moving and still powerful. I seriously can't believe I'm sticking all of this in a blog. But basically, there was a night after a pretty great church event that I lay in bed and thinking of a verse that reminded me of another Bible verse and my whole thought process took on this otherworldly perspective. It was if the words that I learned from pages were suddenly alive and linked and this organism that all made sense. The vibrancy of that episode still sits with me today. It was kind of like the beginning of a second awakening. What I discovered is that some churches (like the one I was attending) believe in the Holy Spirit and that what the Holy Spirit did through people of the early church was completely possible to do through the church of today. With a very verdant, live, and rich spiritual soil I was in during that season I found my so called ESP actually had a place in Scripture and had a purpose. Ahem. When I pray for people God puts on my heart, I suddenly see and know so many things God wants to reveal to their hearts. Some call it the "Gift of Knowledge" or "Prophecy" but one thing I figured out is that it was not of the devil. Also, when I'm with people who accept this way of God using His people, my acumen increases. My depth of knowledge, frequency and details gets bigger. Again I have so many stories I could tell but maybe in another blog but over coffee anytime! To keep this shorter than a Tom Clancy novel I will tell you where I am now. I am in a multi-year season of hard pruning. My gift is pretty dormant right now as far as one on one revelations. My intuition is still off the charts and I often make no sense to anyone because of it. The reason I wrote this long, personal story (that I am sure many people would doubt or scoff at anyway) is because I wanted to state my intent. I have an idea that I thought I could start "someday" but I realized that those somedays don't always come. By forcing all these words as a small beginning, maybe it's the first step on a path. The path is simply my recent impression that tells me that maybe I'm to help others who have this same peculiarity and help them connect in a healthy, powerful way. The truth is I firmly believe the ability for this crazy intuition, word of knowledge or prophetic bent, whatever you would call it..I believe the source was hardwired into me by God and the true, most pure way of being a conduit for this is by going to the source. Therefore, I conversely believe that this gift can be plugged into other power outlets (if you will) that can greatly tarnish or harm the person who carries the peculiarity because it is sort of facinating, it is prevelant in the occult, and when mishandled I've seen "psychic" after psychic have their personal relationships blow apart and they live almost more of a gypsy life and are separated from others because of the proclivity instead of made stronger in long-term powerful and meaningful relationships. This is not how (I believe) God intended for people to go about His business in this particular arena. I'm pulling up short because that's probably a lot of mumbo jumbo for most people to take in. Yet, for those who identify with what I'm saying, this weird post is for you. I will be exploring and sharing more about some lessons I've learned and maybe call it "best practices" or a "blueprint" to help you learn more about how this crazy intuition fits into your life and how to be mentally, emotionally, and relationally healthy while practicing your gift. Not sure if the next step is just one more blog or some ongoing discussion or what. If nothing else, I will have followed my intuition so as always, I'll just hang on and follow the proverbial path. HMU in comments. Let the tin foil memes begin! 😄


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home