That's why it's called a shortcut. If it were easy, it would just be "the way".

Monday, July 18, 2005

Created Out of Nothing

Okay, so the title itself is somewhat objectional- bear with me.

I was bored. Really, really bored. It was 7 o'clock and I had already eaten dinner at the Elephant Bar where Night of the Living Retirement Home was in full swing. I drank some very good appletinis, but that didn't lift the boredom. The mother ship's honing beacon was turned on the way back to my hotel because I managed to find the street of shopping complete with Ann Taylor and Banana Republic. back to my room. Checked some blogs. Watched some friends.


So I went back to the hotel where the convention is being held and met some people. First was Vera (or something like that) who lives in Oakland. She was nice. Saw Bob, the middle aged balding man. Hung out with Bob. He is also safely married. Met some people from Virginia. They left. Guy sat down with me, Bob and Vera. He was laid back and cool. His roomate joined him very much stoned. Vera and I left to another area in the hotel which was supposed to be like a night club. I felt very weird. Text messaged Jeremy. He called. The bass was so loud I didn't hear my phone. Saw he called so I left with promises of being right back. Talked to Jeremy for a while in the 110 degree temprature at 8 at night.

Saw Bob again. Sat at a table with a bunch of middle aged women. Got bored very quickly and had to leave after one woman started going off on how her husband was going to leave her...blah, blah, blah and her teenage daughter joined in. I have to work with teens who are all screwed up because of moms like this so I had to leave.

Saw laid back guy and roomie again. Sat and listened to the guitar player and monopolized the couch. Finally left. Back in my room, completely not tired and thinking I have to get up kinda early. Stink! I hate travelling. I miss Jeremy.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Why haven't I been writing as often? I am in a strange time warp in life right now. Things are happening so quickly they don't seem to be happening at all. I don't have time to really adjust to anything that is going on because so many things are coming and going in my life right now.

AJ moved out. My sister is moving away at the end of July. My younger brother and sister-in-law moved back last weekend. I started paying a ridiculous amount of money to help my business that I own. I am trying to get a credit line on my house so I can get some things around here remodeled. My husband quit his job. He starts a new one this week. He has started having more and more responsibility with the teens and will probably be taking over the whole youth program in a month or two. I am trying to help him out more with that as I am the super administrative sort with tons of ideas to implement. I am going to California (Palm Desert- wanna come visit, Greg?) and Minnesota so I won't be around at all the last two weeks of this month.

I have to do things everyday that I don't want to do. When I was a kid, there was always the threat of a spanking or some sort of punishment if I didn't do what I was supposed to. There were cookies and time with mom when I was a good kid. Life has it's innate rewards and punishments and I have my own intrinsic and external motivations in life.

If I stop and think about all the little things in life I have to handle (won't bore you with details) and all the things I am required to deal with, I get panicky and overwhelmed. But in a day to day existence, things march in, things march out and I continue to function at my best knowing something is required of me and some things make a difference in life in so many different lives other than mine. The thing is, I never know what makes a difference while I am doing it so I have to give my full energy and attention to whatever the task at hand might be.

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

End of the Lion Hat Era

Enough with the lion hat already.

I made a large financial commitment to help my business grow and now I am scared because what if it doesn't and I just threw all that money out of the window? It's not like I don't already have enough bills to worry about paying for and I just added a hefty one. So wish me luck on doing what I am supposed to be doing everyday starting tomorrow because I sure am nervous. Although, I am nervous enough to create some action to make sure I don't fall into some sort of financial hole.

Has anyone else ever taken a gamble in hopes of a large win? How did it go?

EEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!! (Someone will know what that sounds like.)