That's why it's called a shortcut. If it were easy, it would just be "the way".

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Could That Be Any More Embarassing?

Annalisa and I went to have a little celebratory lunch. I have been working with the biggest pain in the butt clients for almost a year. I got paid for my work today.

When we walked in, this waiter started giving my sister (Annalisa) a bunch of crap. We were seated and I asked her what was up with that guy. She has known him since Jr. High.

Oh.

So after we are eating our food (and I am having my "woohoo" margarita), this guy comes up. Annalisa introduces me to The Guy She Has Known Since Jr High. He starts giving her a hard time, so I chime in. He wants to know how long I have lived in Sedona. I said, "Exactly the same amount of time as Annalisa. She's my sister." So he asks some more questions and I ask him what his last name is. (It's a small town, I figured I might know one of his relatives.) His last name is Falsetto. So I said (are you ready for this moment of brillance?), "So can you sing in falsetto?"

It sounded kinda good in my head. Why did I say this? I thought of Bran. She would understand. I blurted out the first thing that popped into this warped brain of mine and it didn't pass any checkpoints for coolness.

I felt really, really dumb. So I told the guy, "Sorry. I'm cheesy. I can't help it." And of course, being embarassed, I couldn't shut up. So I continued to babble about how my sister isn't cheesy and it doesn't run in the family or anything. I have blocked out anything else I might have said after that point. I just know I had to be scarlet and I wasn't looking at him anymore.

He left. (I am sure he was totally head over heels in love with me at this point.) Annalisa then informs me that the whole time I was babbling on....I had lots of food in my teeth. A black thing from the black beans and a piece of lettuce. So the whole time I am grinning because I feel like an idiot, I am making a bigger ass of myself.

I clean my teeth and she asks if she should call him over so I can talk to him without food in my teeth. "How about never? Is it okay to see him never again?"

And we can't stop laughing at me. I told her to pay and I would jump off the balcony to the car so I don't have to see him as we leave.

But at least I was having a good time at my own expense.

Then Annalisa keeps commenting, "That lady looks familiar to me."

I didn't look the first two times she said it. Then the third time, I turn around to see who she is looking at with such interest and contemplation.

"Annalisa, she was our waitress last time we came here. That's why she looks familiar."

More laughter. We are both on a roll of being complete jackasses now. We figure we should leave while the getting is good. Our waitress brings Annalisa a to go box and I pay for the check. (It was my celebration, my treat.) We get up to leave and are halfway across the restaurant when the waitress yells very loudly to Annalisa:

"Ma'am! Your box!!!"

Now, this might sound completely harmless, but her intonation at the end of box sounded like she was going to continue speaking but just stopped. Our minds jumped to the first thing we think of when we hear the word "box".

I doubled over from laughter. She busted up. I am sure we were the only two people in the restaurants with minds that much in the gutter (because everyone in the place heard the waitress yell that). Annalisa turned around and retrieved her box that she had left.

The whole way back to the office, we were cracking jokes about leaving boxes, stuffing boxes and having sloppy 2nd boxes.

I think my pain of the last year with my clients has been more than made up for.