My Snarky Side

J was really the first guy who would stand up to me when I was throwing a tantrum. My sister once said her life flashed before her eyes when I got mad at her.

People don’t mess with me. It takes a lot to get me angry, really. But after I do, I have a hard time calming down.

I usually avoid confrontation because I decide whether I like someone, trust them and will give them the time of day within the first couple of times I meet them. I don’t know how to explain this, but I can tell by people’s body language and the way they carry themselves whether they are worth my time. It’s kinda like the idea that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I can read people really well.

If I decide they aren’t worth my time, they will never get to a point where they could really make me angry. They become a neutral in my life.

I have a strong personality. I can be cold. If I feel that a person has violated trust or broken some rule of indecency (and I don’t mean getting naked when they are drunk or something), I just write them off.

I have been writing all of my thoughts down and I am getting a good girl reputation. Even in the community, I have that reputation. I think my biggest weakness at work is that I am not aggressive enough.

But it’s what is hiding under the surface that you have to watch for. Because when I get angry, I don’t take the direct route to decimate a person. I wait, I watch and I scheme. My hands will always be clean as I watch them go down.

Some people know this about me. Therefore, they stay away from ever challenging me to get into this mode. I think I also have the physical presence to scare most people in my world. (Stick me in a ghetto or something and I will pee my pants and roll up into a ball.)

I am passionate about a lot of things. I don’t do anything half throttle. I am the same way with relationships. If I care enough about you to get angry, and I get angry enough, you probably aren’t going to like what happens next. The thing is, if I care about you enough to get angry, you know this about me.

I guess my anger used to be hot. I was physical when I was angry. It was scary. Now my anger is cold. I am calculating when I am angry. It is scarier.

I guess I just don’t back down. I choose my battles carefully, but I always choose ones I know I will win.