Things I have learned from dieting

Controlling my eating habits was only hard for about the first week. I would dream about a Wendy’s double double and have a pickle. I would crave sweets and have a pickle. Pickles were my crutch for the first month. Now I don’t usually have cravings. Well, this week was tough because I don’t deal well with emotions and it has been an emotionally stressful week so I wanted comfort food. I had a bowl of cereal which isn’t on my diet, but much better than the double cookie dough Blizzard I was going to get.

Anyway, so half way through this thing all of my pants, including my professional work ones are hanging way below my underwear line so I am forced to wear all of my long shirts. The one thing I think is hardly fair is that my boobs lost quite a bit of weight, too. What’s that all about? It’s like being punished for losing weight. (I don’t have voluptuous boobs, sorry guys.) I didn’t lose a whole cup size or anything, but I think I might have to go buy a half size bra now. Not fair. I was always against getting boob jobs, but if I’m hot and skinny and not really filling up a shirt, that’s just not fair.

The other thing that sucks is that I have a naturally perky butt. It has diminished somewhat, but it is still round and plump as ever. I have like a dancer butt or something and I don’t really do anything to bulk it up. So the jeans that are in my closet waiting to be worn are gaping around my waist by about 4” already but too tight for my comfort around my derriere. Yes, this is my curse. Tiny top, round butt. I hate it! Hate it!! Not fair.

Although, (this is wrong) I know a girl who is way big on bottom and small on top like a complete pear. I don’t think I’m that bad. (No, I will not post a pic.) But still, If I am going to be curvy on the bottom, doesn’t it only harmonize and balance the world if I am curvy on top, too?

Man, I can’t wait to strut my stuff in a bikini in June. I will be so proud of myself. I’m gonna start endorsing pickles for free!