Confessions of a Christian: Ring My Bell

(A few pictures from Colorado below.)

So spending four days with a house full of children has given me a new perspective of a mom's life.

The people I usually associate with worry about things like being polite at the table when they go out to eat, having a great hair day, wearing the latest trend for an outfit and taking a shower daily.

I went to eat with my friends, their husbands and the five children at a Chinese buffet. I didn't have time to manage to get my shower in that morning because I woke up at 6 and felt the need to clean the kitchen and living room. By the time I was done, the baby was awake and my friend was still sleeping because we had gone out to the bar the night before and she's not used to being out until 11:30 at night anymore. So the day progressed and by the time lunch rolled around and we were leaving, it never crossed my mind to take my shower. I think the husbands managed to get clean. I don't think anyone else was.

At the lunch table, I was eating a chicken skewer thing. A bite of chicken had a bunch of gristle and fat. Usually, I would discreetly wipe my mouth and the chicken would end up in the napkin or I would just eat it so I didn't appear to have disgusting table habits. At lunch with the two families, sitting across from the two four year olds, I just picked it out of my mouth with my fingers and put it back on my plate. No one noticed.

My girlfriends are no longer worried about the designer labels, the latest hair fashion, whether their shoes match the diaper bags or table manners. They don't worry about if the car is clean. They worry about if diapers are clean, if the kids are going to hurt themselves, and nap time. They concern themselves with making meals, cleaning dishes and making sure the kids are happy. There is no more quiet time or leisure time in their schedules. They are lax in so many areas but are really concerned about really basic things that I never even stop to think about.

After this trip, I am still not sure that raising kids are for me. My best friend's husband says my maternal instincts are really good, but I think it was all the nanny jobs I had in high school and college. I cannot listen to a kid cry and not do something to make the crying stop. I thought I would be relieved to get away from the constant overwhelming noise and activity and in some ways I am but in a lot of ways, I am not. Their kids are seriously great fun and full of life. There is something you get being around a kid a lot that you can't get in any other way. They want to please, they are easily amused, and they are full of ideas. They are most of the things adults wished they wouldn't have lost somewhere along the way.

During my nap today, I dreamt about Ben, the baby in the photo below. Ben and I spent a lot of time together. I miss him. I miss my friends. Their kids are incredible even if they are incredibly overwhelming. (Four boys and one girl probably doesn't help either.) I think being a mom is the hardest, most unappreciated job ever. It requires so much more than my job. My life is still very much about me, even though I give chunks of it away to my husband, the teens I mentor and my clients. I still get my hair done every six weeks. I get pedicures. I get my eyebrows waxed. I go shopping. I spend a minimal amount of time in my house. My dogs are the most demanding relationship I have because they have to eat on their time schedule.

I am going to stop rambling now. I think motherhood is rival to the demands of being a Marine and has a much longer tour of duty. I would have rung the bell already.

Me & my best friend.