Who Is Their Chauffer to the Nut Farm?

The Sedona crazies are a common occurrence. We have had our share of characters. I don't know if they flock here because being a large hippie-new age town they figure they will be accepted or if they are crazy because of all the shrooms and stuff over the years.

We have our local favorites like The Bird Lady who got the name for standing in a busy intersection in town and flipping everyone off going north/south and then turning ninety degrees to flip everyone off traveling east/west. She then walked through the intersection on her happy way after displaying her evident displeasure with the citizens of Sedona on the whole. She will be seen walking around town often swearing and arguing with her cup. (I could blog about encounters with her for a while.)

We also have Jesus. He wears a large diaper looking thing and nothing else. He walks all over town with his long, long hair and barely clothed body. Rumor has it that he shows up to court in Armani suits. (I should mention Bird Lady also is a very rich heiress.)

There is The Ninja Guy. He walks around swathed in full black even during the summer. He has been arrested for hacking a harmless bush in Uptown with the sword he always carries on his back while raving about the injustices the bush had inflicted upon the ninja man.

We have The Waver. He is truly in the Guinness Book of World Records for a record number of waves. He walks from the Village of Oak Creek to West Sedona every day waving at people. He is only here during the cooler months though. I do not know where he goes to wave during the summer. I once gave him a ride. I don't remember much about it.

I have heard about several other crazy people, like the purple guy who painted his house purple, wore purple everyday and even painted his dog purple. However, he jumped off of a bridge to his death. Purple must not be a happy color.

And yesterday, I found someone else to add to the list of Sedona nuts. I was waiting at an intersection (oddly enough, it's the same one where The Bird Lady earned her name) with my clients. We were waiting at the red light and in the cross walk, this guy in his 30s was walking across. Walking is a loose term here. He was the worlds slowest man. And I don't mean he was slow moving like some old people in the grocery store who shuffle. It looked like this guy was literally moving in super slow motion. He took one very infinitesimally small step every couple of seconds. He did manage to get across the street without anyone running him over, but I am pretty sure it took him about 45 seconds to pass the width of my car.

My client said, "I sure hope he doesn't have to walk up any hills. He won't make it."

I added that if he tried to go up a hill, the rate of his speed would be countered by the speed of the earth's rotation and he can walk and never go anywhere at that rate.

Now you know why I am somewhat accepted as normal in this corner of the world.