I'm not ticking

I don't get it. I think God forgot to install a clock in me. You know, the biological one. Either that, or it is set to go off so late I won't be able to do anything about it.

I am going to pontificate about children some more. I am 28 and a half! (And a half people!) Most people have kids by my age or want them. I love kids. I love babies, toddlers and teenagers. The ages of 8-12 don't thrill me but that isn't my deal stopper. And I am not sure what my deal stopper is for having children. I find them amusing. I think they are everything adults should try to be for the most part. I love their laughs, the fact that their skin is perfect, that they say clever things all the time, and they accept things for what they are.

I have the energy to keep up with them. I can out do them in most cases. I even have the discpline to keep a schedule and be a happy, well adjusted mom.

But I don't want to do it. Looking into the eyes of a child doesn't out weigh the lack of sleep. Holding little fingers doesn't undo the projectile poop from the day before. Hearing the laugh doesn't make all the dirty dishes and dirty diapers go away.

I don't see in my mind how it is worth everything. I am sure kids are worth it all. 99% of parents say it is. (I feel sorry for the poor bastards that make up the remaining 1%.) I just don't have it figured out. I don't comprehend with my mind how these little people make up for all of the work that is required.

So I believe I might be done talking about children for a while. I feel like I SHOULD want to have them. I wouldn't be disappointed if I did get pregnant, but I don't desire and crave and have to have a child. I think someone went in and cut the red wire before I was set to go off.