The Squirrel Made Me Do It

Two true stories of the craziness that is me:

I had a really stressful day. I just wanted to go home and have a shot or three. I got home and I couldn't decide if I should drink or go jogging. My sister convinced me jogging was a better alternative. As I was getting ready, it began to rain. I thought it might be a sign from God to take a shot instead. I finished getting my jogging gear on and decided to go out in the rain. It wasn't too heavy. I figured I would just go around the block. I finished the block and kept going on my normal route. It felt great. By the time I got back, I wasn't stressed and I didn't need a shot anymore.

The other story took place on Saturday. I had to get gas for my car. The place I go gives a free candy bar with every fill up. It seemed a waste to not take the free candy bar. So I took the candy bar after fighting with myself for a few minutes. I got in the car and drove off with the candy bar sitting happily in the seat next to me. I opened it up. I sniffed it. It smelled like very good chocolate. I put it back in the wrapper and another argument with myself ensued. It was a candy bar that comes in two pieces. I took a piece out and stared at it some more. I rolled down my window and tossed it out. I continued driving. I went another half mile and took out the other piece. I sniffed it. I put it back in the wrapper. I took it out of the wrapper. I tossed the piece of candy out the window.

If you find a very wired squirrel in Sedona, that is probably my fault.