I Have 2 words- EEEEeeeeeEEeewwwww!

I could not find a picture that was old enough to show what we kind of look like now but new enough to not show exactly what we look like now. I couldn't find any. The only ones I have are from childhood or within the past year it seems. In between has been a photo gap. There are plenty of me, plenty of her, but not any of me and her.

I wanted to show a picture so you would know that we do not look like lesbians in the remotest sense of the word. We do not have mullets. We do not wear flannel shirts. We dress like modern, pretty women that are concerned with such matters as fashion, hair and makeup.

But this backasswards place is just odd. A guy my sister went to school with saw us out and about tonight. He is tall and lanky with pre-mature balding hair and oversized glasses. He was talking to my sister. I sat down and she got up (we were bowling- nothing else fun to do in this forsaken backwater hole, not that bowling is fun but....Whatever) and he asked me if we (in reference to my sister and I) were dating. I looked at him. I kept looking at him. Who is this insect sitting at my table? Why is he talking? The only kind of lesbian I could be is one of those fantasy lesbians, not a real-life dike. (Or is it dyke? Whatever.)

SERIOUSLY!!

I asked him how many men he had dated. He took a minute and said, "None."

We are sisters dumbass. I have a wedding ring on. Why do you assume that if two semi-attractive women are hanging out together we must be "dating". Why would you assume that anyway? Do you live in a world where women are supposed to have a male escort and not go out alone? I really, really don't get it. I am baffled.

It is almost as bad as the girl in Minnesota wanting to know how close my sister and I were. She had just got done kissing another girl at the table of people who were just trying to have a good time and drink. I do not kiss my sister. I do not kiss my brothers. I do not even kiss cute cousins.

WTF???!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?

Now, my sister was going to blog about this on Monday, but this story needs to be told while it still stinks.

I am so glad I imported my male companion. I would hate to have to pick my husband from this narrow pool of specimen. It is in dire need of some chlorine. Maybe it should just be drained all together.

Stay tuned tomorrow for the 80 year old woman dancing in the room with the live band. Hillarious! I don't know if I can convey it in words, but I will give it a shot.

(I really need to find that picture. I feel quite insecure now. I need assurances that we look normal- not dikey. Why would someone ask that? I had never met this person before. It is like asking a large woman if she is pregnant. Do not ask that question unless you are 100% sure she is pregnant and/or you see a baby coming out!)

Post thought- I should have had the sense to take a picture of this ugly, dorky man a la That Girl Style.