Hear Ye! Here Ye!

So here's what I'm gonna do:

As President of the world (aka "Amberland"), I have decided the following:

1. A major amusement park shall be in every town so that WalMart will not be the major highlight of any town again.

2. I shall enforce the T-Shirt rule. It needs to be done. It will automatically change color as people's moods, wants and needs change. (PMSing women will have a color, too.)

3. I shall make it so that every person has another person as a permanent companion so that they will feel sublimely happy without needing martinis every five minutes and will have lots of happy, fulfilled sex.

4. I shall make free martini/beer dispensers at every location imaginable. There shall be a free tram everywhere so there is no worries of drinking and driving. Drunk people shall get a different T-Shirt color and be corralled into one bar off premises for the duration of their drunkenness. Buzzed people are free to roam wherever they please.

5. Everyone gets to work at home if they want. The hours are yours to set, you just have to get your work done. No one else can do it. If you have a job that requires you to physically be there, you can take the free tram. You get to choose a job you like. Everyone gets paid the same amount of money. (I know, I am a socialist at heart. In real life, I'm not. But this is a utopia where everyone acts correctly.)

6. Anyone caught disrupting the peace and tranquility will be banned from Amberland and sent to France.