Please Don't Give Me the People's Elbow!

I don't remember the first time I saw or talked to J. I don't remember our first "date". I don't remember the first song we listened to together or the first place we ate. To this day, we still don't have a "song".

I do remember our first kiss. It goes down in the history books as the most awkward kiss ever. EVER.

We used to converse with our heads close together. One night, we were doing the usual conversing within each other's personal space. After a long pause, he leaned over and kissed me. What did I do? I turned my head away. (Slap to the forehead: doh!)

We sat like that for about 20 minutes. Without speaking, we both got up and went back to our apartments. He didn't try again for another month and a half.

I also remember our first fight. (I am a woman. So sue me.) It was comedic, actually. Up until that moment in my life, I didn't know female tears had any power. We fought and fought and then I burst into tears. He melted. We made up. We kissed.

And that was exciting. It was spine tingling and toe curling. It was what a real kiss should be.

About two months later we broke up. For a whole day. He was being a long-term jackass and I actually like myself. He wouldn't really talk to me after we got back from Winter Break. For almost six weeks I would have to drag "hi" and "bye" out of him. He would act normal and happy with everyone else.

And the school dweebs were hitting on me, not knowing I had a boyfriend. What is the use of a boyfriend if you are still going to get overtly hit on by those guys?

So one night he was being a particularly good jackass so I called, "Jeremy!" (In my mean tone).

He walked over to my door. I asked him if he still wanted to have me as a girlfriend. He said he wasn't sure if he wanted any girlfriend. I said, "Good. You don't have one anymore," and slammed the door in his face.

Well, of course I called my mom and told her J and I had broken up. "But what about the Christmas pictures?" She said. Mom, we don't need pictures of me and my ex-boyfriend. "But you're in them, honey."

MOMS!

So the next night I waited until the coast had cleared (ie no one was around to make a scene in front of) and went to tell Jeremy my mom wanted a picture. I strolled up to him very casual like, "I need to talk to you."

He said, "Good. I need to talk to you too."

Aw crap! Not what I wanted to hear. (I have 2 dating rules. One is to never go out with someone you have broken up with.)

J began, "I couldn't sleep last night. I talked to Jim until 3 in the morning. The problem is when I went home over Christmas I realized you were the one and it scares me." He practically begged for me back. It was a really good excuse. For the first time ever, I broke one of my dating rules.

Several months later, we had gone out to a nice restaurant and some sort of show. It sucked. Neither of us wanted to go and the story of why we had to is too boring to write down. But afterwards, we went and watched TV in his apartment. He was laid out on the couch, and I was laying next to him. My head was on his chest and I could hear his heart beating.

And something kind of solidified in me and I knew. I knew that was exactly where I was made to be. No where else on earth was made for me besides that place. It sounds corny and cheesy but it was the only time I have felt that in my entire life.

I knew J for a year and eleven months and then we were engaged. That's when the fighting began.

(You see how long these are? And I am describing a single note in one of Beethoven's symphonies. You see why I must stop like this. Please don't hate me. Please don't give me the People's Elbow.)