Lost and Usually Not Found

I lost my keys on New Years Eve. I was five hours from my house and couldn't just get the spare. It was quite the ordeal. I spent two hours tearing apart my aunt and uncle's house. They had a huge party the night before and to say the house was disorderly was an understatement. I ended up having to drive halfway home to Phoenix and have a friend meet me there with a spare set. I noticed they were gone when it was time to head to my brother's house for breakfast that morning. Two weeks later they were discovered in the dryer. I know I didn't drink that much.

Once I lost a whole vehicle after a basketball game in Phoenix. I spent close to an hour walking up and down every level of a parking garage until it dawned on me that I was in the wrong one. Probably NOT going to find the car that way.

But the most obvious thing I lost I didn't even realize I didn't have. Yesterday I went and checked my bank statements from last May and I never did deposit $2079. The only reason I thought to check is because the company's accountant was reconciling everything and noticed that check had never cleared. So a week later I got around to checking my bank statements. I really did lose a check for $2079 and didn't notice!

So I was all excited because I need the money right now. I spoke with my supreme office manager on msn chat.
LisaFaye: So the check for $2079 never got deposited?
Ambur: Nope.
LisaFaye: That's too bad. The company policy is that we don't reissue checks after that long.
Ambur: If you think I am going to ride on policy when we are talking about $2000 you must be crazy.
Ambur: You're kidding right? You better be kidding!
Ambur: I am going to drive over there and talk to the broker about this. What a bunch of crap. The company owes me that money.
LisaFaye: I was just messing with you.
Ambur: Oh! My butthole was so puckered I almost suffocated myself to death on the chair!

Fortunately, LisaFaye is my sister and after 24 years of messing with each other at the most inopportune moments, this is okay. I did get my check last night and we went to Nic's to celebrate with a few martinis. We avoided the bar area so that we didn't have to deal with creepy men. We went to Wal-Mart..ahem...Super WalMart afterwards where Annalisa had me dying of laughter.

I would like to note that I may be slow on the uptake, but as I am not "drool-in-a-cup" hot, God had to give me some brains so I have never been confused on whether tuna is really chicken.