Deleted

The thing is, I didn't really like my last blog either.

I don't know if it is because I hate thinking about who I was as a teenager. There was so much hurt back then. I didn't feel like a single soul really understood me. I guess maybe that is just part of teenage angst.

My teenage angst turned into teenage anger. Most of my regular readers are under the impression that I care a lot about people. It's true. I think the reason that I care so much is because I used to care so little. I didn't care about my parents, my siblings, my friends or myself. I made destructive choices on purpose. I had a raging temper that I was willing to release on anyone for the slightest of offenses. If I knew there was a rule, I went out of my way to break it.

I suppose that's why I am now so in awe of the teens I know. They stay strong through some really tough times. They are faced with the same crappy situations I was, but they choose a different route. They are truly different and I see such beauty in that. Life is no easier for them, and in fact it is often harder.

My last post that I deleted reminded me of how wasteful I was with that time in my life. I don't have regrets because it definately shaped me into who I am today, but on the other hand, it was so senseless and meaningless. I hurt a lot of people. A lot of people hurt me. There are many people I hope I never see again. There are some people I still miss to this day.