Amber the Grouch

I crunched numbers for five hours today. Math and I have a long, arduous relationship which used to be good but turned sour my Junior year of high school. Now we hardly speak unless we have to. Since it is tax season, I had to organize my expenses and this requires that I at least act civil to Math in order to get the work done. It’s not like we sit and hang out, laughing about the good times. He tries to mess with me and lead me in wrong directions just for fun. Fun for him. Not for me. Maybe Math wanted me to spend more time with him than was necessary. He knows I like to ditch him as soon as I am done, so maybe that was the ploy. I had to work the numbers three different ways to make sure they were correct in case the IRS ever comes around to do a cavity search.

Speaking of feeling a bit violated. (How's that for a segue?) Ladies, things have gotten out of control. I like you. I want you to be happy. You can stop screwing yourself over. Yes, you can.

News Flash: Not all men are mean. Not all are irresponsible. Not all are forgetful pus bags.

I know you know this. I understand that it is fun to bash the group when you don't have access to the one. However, it is ruining tranquility in the only non-annoying place in life: blogland.

So please, for the love of Pete (and Luke, and Jake, and Lunatic, and Blue, and Greg.....) Give the guys a break. Thank you. Yes, men can be mean. Quit expecting something different. Then when they aren’t you can be pleasantly surprised. And don’t dismiss the nice guy just because he is nice. If you were to put as much time and energy into the nice guys as you do in pursuing the jackasses, you would have a whole lot more to show for it than sour grapes. And don’t tell me you have never met a nice guy. You just didn’t get turned on by him, so you ignored him. And why do you expect to meet a nice guy at the bar? Really? It’s a meat market. If you really wanted to meet a nice guy you would go to the library or something like that or you might want to try to volunteer somewhere cool. You never know. You could meet Mr. Right in a bar, but do you really think so? A man on the prowl isn’t looking to be Mr. Right. He’s looking to be Mr. Right Now.

Women, don’t give your heart away in the first stages of meeting a guy. I don’t suggest giving anything away in the beginning, but that’s me. (It would ruin all the fun for the men, I know.) I try to never have expectations for many things and then I am not disappointed, just continually surprised and delighted. If you're going to have any expectations, expect that they guy from the bar is going to lose your number, not show up and just want you for sex. If anything else happens, be surprised.

I am going to lose all of my popularity votes. Ha!

That hurt me more than it hurt you.

I guess Math makes me fickin' grouchy.