Tears

I decided a while ago to never cry over him anymore. He ripped my heart out of my chest. I don't think I will ever fully recover or forget the feeling, really. I know I can't ever stop loving him. Everyone loved him. It was his personality.

I was driving into Sedona today, and the mountain peered up over the ridge.

I was listening to Chevelle and my heart hopped up into my throat. Everytime I see that mountain, I think of him.

But I decided no more tears. I cried over him like I have never cried over anyone. I fight the tears. I fight them hard. I feel like I have been punched in the gut when I think about him. My breath gets short. I try to let my mind wander, but the images start to flow.

I think of his smile. It was beautiful.

I think of the time he fell and everyone thought he broke his leg because he was screaming in pain. He was just kidding.

I remember my response being,"You're kidding. Right?".

And I always see Bryce walking out of the door, his clothes covered in blood and him coming up to me, hugging me, clinging to me for life and just bawling.

And my hands are now shaking and I have to stare up at the ceiling so the tears won't start.

And I can't forget.

And if I didn't stop crying, I would probably cry for the rest of my life. I don't think the tears would ever stop, or the need to let them go.