Amberland has been bought out!

I'm bored. I just want to relax. I need a back massage. I don't relax very much anymore because I think Karsten will need me at any minute so I feel like I'm constantly "on".

Now I feel like having a nap. Or a margarita. Or something.

I don't feel as fun as I used to be. I don't know. It's serious to be a mom but I just want to have fun and laugh and keep things light. I feel like I am losing that "keeping things light" part of myself.

My marriage has changed. I didn't want it to. We have to function more as adults, I guess. It takes more communication, talking about things even when things are not pleasant and just fun and silly. I like just fun and silly. I don't like confrontation of any sort, really. However, I know it is unhealthy to keep things bottled up or to stuff problems when everything isn't just fine. Parenthood takes more compromise in a marriage I guess.

If anyone has tips on how to stay silly with a newborn, please let me know. I try to think of silly things to do, or make light of situations I have to deal with repetitively with my son. But I don't feel like I have the resources outside of that to cope, to find as much humor, to truly enjoy the lighter side of life. Which is sad because it's that side that is the best side for me.

I want AmberLand back!